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Funny Wine Poems for Wine Lovers

Wine, an alcoholic beverage that has been known to grace all types of occasions for thousands of years, pairs best with comedy – like compatible bothers, wine and comedy have also always gone hand in hand.

Probably because when you consume a good amount of wine you are bound to act ridiculous. Who knows the reason, or cares!

Over the ages, so many people from different occupations and walks of life have written famous funny wine quotes or told funny jokes about wine. Although sometimes the comments can be on the sarcastic side, they are usually born out of the love the person has for the fermented, satisfying and ever tasty beverage.

Wine, coined from the Latin word vinum, is one of the most common, popular and precious man-made beverages in the world; as with most great discoveries, its origin story has a lot of variations.

In fact, there are about as many variations as there are varietals, based on what region the stories are being told. There are Bordeaux reds and whites, Burgundian reds and whites, Champagne – which is sparkling wine only, Chianti and Sangiovese which are the same grape but made in different regions.

From red to white to rose, grape wine to starch based wine, there is literally an entire world to discover. And don't forget, fruit wine and Mead are a part of the story too!

01 Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. – Joan Collins

Photo by Rafael Barquero on Unsplash

02 I know I look silly when I take a lot of wine, but what is your own excuse?

04 I know I have a strong will because I have quit drinking wine a thousand times, and I will not stop but keep trying, bottle after bottle.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels – under CC0 license

05 Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise. – Charles Kingsley

06 A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I'll have a bottle.

07 For when the wine is in, the wit is out. – Thomas Becon

Photo by Ron Jake Roque on Unsplash

08 I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite. – Bette Midler

09 I believe we should have wine for dinner today, yes or yes?

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11 Making good wine is a skill. Fine wine is an art. – Robert Mondavi

12 I tried to think of a way to always have clean bed sheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.

13 Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra

Photo by Chrysostomos Galathris on Pexels – under COO license

14 An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.

15 I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep. —George Best

16 In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. – Benjamin Franklin

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17 Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy. —Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

18 I get really clumsy around wine, I seem to always spill the whole bottle down my throat.

19 Too much of anything is bad, but too much of champagne is just right. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

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20 The best part of having visitors is opening a bottle, serving them a glass and then getting to finish it myself.

21 When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman

22 Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine. – Karl Marx

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23 My doctor said I could take wine only on joyous occasions, and my other doctor said I should always make every day joyous. So that settles it.

24 I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. – Robert Benchley

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26 When you are stressed take wine, if you are still stressed take more wine.

27 I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. – Winston Churchill

Photo by osawee Suwannaphati on Pexels – under CC0 license

29 The discovery of a good wine is increasingly better for mankind than the discovery of a new star. – Leonardo Da Vinci

30 I am feeling really heroic today… I need to go rescue some wine trapped in their bottle.

31 A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. – Louis Pasteur

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

32 Wine… the intellectual part of the meal…. – Alexandre Dumas

33 The piano has been drinking, not me. —Tom Waits

34 Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever. – Aristophanes

35 It's really not my fault I drank wine all day. The bottles keep calling my name. They are attracted to me.

Phoyo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash

36 I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions. —Leslie Jamison

Photo by vargazs on Pixabay

37 Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. – Ernest Hemingway

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38 My most important rule in life : don't drink wine when you are sleeping

39 Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. ― Pope John XXIII

40 The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.

Photo by kaboompics on Pixabay – under CC0 license

41 Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems. —Matt Groening

42 Wine is sunlight, held together by water. – Galileo Galilei

43 Good wine or bad wine…. What the heck, I'll take both.

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45 I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often – but I'm well preserved.- Rose Kennedy

There are plenty of opportunities to find interesting, funny or cringey-worthy facts about wine. Whether you love it, or are not into alcohol, fear not – there is even a new trend for making and drinking nonalcoholic wine and wine beverages.

Whichever pick is yours, the main aim is having a good time. You are welcome to come up with funny wine quotes of your own. They could be sarcastic, or best of all funny.

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Source: https://tosaylib.com/sarcastic-funny-wine-quotes/

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